I had recently decided to give up my phone for two weeks.
I knew I needed a break sooner, but I would constantly give myself excuses on why I shouldn’t. I would ignore the reasons I should take a break and only pay attention to the reasons I shouldn’t. I mean…
I couldn’t just throw away my ‘only’ way to connect with other people could I? Why on earth would I do that?
Well the reason I shouldn’t is also the reason I should. It connects me to the outside world sure but I’m becoming disconnected with so many other things including myself.
If I attempted to list off every reason I had to take a two week break I’d definitely go over a thousand words. (Although I’ve already deleted about 426 words from revising and editing multiple times…)
The thoughts that kept me back from putting my phone down the most was,
‘What if they need me to be there for them and I’m not there?’
I had been helping some people through tough situations and I felt the need to be there for them all the time. Since I’ve had to experience many chances where people can’t be there for me I hated the thought of being that friend that couldn’t be there for them. Sometimes people just need that one person to be there for them… but I’m forcing myself to accept that I can’t be that one person every single time.Being that one person every time would be like becoming a counselor and making myself available 24/7. Which, now that I think about it, I actually was.
The screen I once thought to be a way for me to make my friends feel more secure had become the screen that made me feel stuck in an empty pit of nothing. It became the reason my old habits had resurfaced. The habit of focusing so much on anything and anyone else but myself.
So what opened my eyes to make me finally get my shiz straight?
I just decided I deserved better than laying on my phone all day every day and getting nothing but emptiness in return, that’s all.
My best-friend’s been my support throughout my struggles and she’s definitely played a huge part in finally setting myself straight. Aside from blogging she’s been attempting to introduce yoga to me. I’m still skeptical about it,but if you check out her blog you can see she’s convinced that it’s what I need to connect with my mind, body, and spirit.
It’s really life changing and eye opening to feel like you’re one one with your own self. Not many people do this practice but anyone who’s been doing yoga for some time could mostly agree that it will do you some good. ~EtreUniq
I’m determined to make yoga, meditating, and blogging my new focus to replace those hours I would originally spend staring at an empty screen that clouds my mind.